I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues
by Jane McCartney
Summary: A telephone call. A nearly forgotten friendship. What recollections will a spicy combination like this result in? A tear, a confession and retrospection. And, of course, lots of chaos.
1. The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is ...

Title: I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues  
  
Author: Jane McCartney  
  
Disclaimer: Xander's mine, but if you wanna believe he's Joss's, fine! Whatever! I can always have my share of fun with Spike, Gunn, Wesley or Lindsey, you know? And...what? They aren't mine too? Damn!  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Feedback: As previously said, I'm rather fond of it. Yes, watch out, I'm crazy for it! [evil maniacal laugh echoes]  
  
E-mail: janemccartney@bol.com.br  
  
Distribution: Just tell me first and everybody will be happy in the end, okay?  
  
Acknowledgments: To those who sent and send me reviews. Love ya, guys. And also, Theo, Theo and Theo. Without him, all my work would be just a bunch of nonsensical words in crappy English.  
  
Author's note: This is a two-chapter thing. I just came up with the thought an hour ago, and here 'tis. Hope you'll enjoy!  
  
Summary: A telephone call. An old friendship. What recollections will a spicy combination like this result in?  
  
***  
  
One ring of the damned telephone.  
  
"I'll get it, I'll get it!" Anya bolted out from behind the bathroom door, wearing nothing more than a white cotton towel to cover her nakedness.  
  
Xander grinned, looking at his fiancÃ©e as she hurriedly ran towards the phone. "You know, you never used to get this excited when we go out."  
  
Anya stopped and glared at him, then stared down at the cotton towel thoughtfully. "But we never go out anymore," she stated accusingly.  
  
Two rings of the damned telephone.  
  
"Hey, we do so go out... we, we were at two parties last week!"  
  
"Oh," the former demoness blurted out, sounding more than a little confused. "Should I wear this to your boss's next boring party, then?"  
  
A prompt gasp. "Ahn, honey? If you want a poor and unemployed husband, yep is your answer. And... wait a sec, who says my boss's parties are boring? Free food, free beer... could someone honestly wish for more?" Xander replied casually, standing up from the couch and walking through the living room to the kitchen.  
  
Three rings of the damned telephone.  
  
"I could! Uh, lemme see," Anya mused, raising her hand and counting off the possibilities on each raised finger. "A million dollars, a marathon of non- stop sex, a king-size turkey sandwich, and please â€" let's try to be reasonable here, a law to forbid bunnies in America? And having Buffy back, of course..."  
  
Anya rationalized her last point, "Then I'd be able to get some sleep these days, instead of waiting up for you every night to come back alive and with no missing body parts from the patrolling."  
  
Four rings of the damned telephone.  
  
The blonde girl could only see Xander's back, but she didn't need to see more to feel his sudden agitation and tenseness though.  
  
"And, and she was a very nice person too; she was strong, and, well, she didn't have too much of a sense of humor after Glory showed up, but..." Anya added tentatively, though each and every word spoken directly from her heart. "I like Buffy!"  
  
Her smile grew bigger, only to fade away in the very next second. "I mean, I liked Buffy. A whole lot."  
  
Xander stayed silent, quietly and clumsily spooning some cereal into the childish bowl. But still, the dark-haired young man kept his back to his fiancÃ©e.  
  
And as for the damned telephone, there was no more ringing at last.  
  
"I thought you were gonna get it," Xander stated, opening the refrigerator and taking out a carton of milk. He loudly opened the lid, and the noise of milk splashing into the bowl of cereal seems to be the only existing sound for the two of them, at that moment.  
  
"Get what?" Anya asked in the same low and awkward voice.  
  
"The phone," he replied, rather harshly. The blonde woman shivered.  
  
"Well, I didn't," the former demoness stated the obvious, clutching her towel more tightly to her body, suddenly feeling the need to do so.  
  
A frown. "I don't understand. You loved her. Willow and Giles did too. Why can't you ever talk about her, then? Don't you guys have any good memories of Buffy?"  
  
There wasn't any milk to be splashed this time, only a tense and thick silence to contemplate the awkwardness of the moment.  
  
"You know, it'd be good for Dawn. To talk about her â€" Buffy? Every time she begins a conversation with her sister's name in it, you guys cut her off as if she was some kind of creepy alien or something," Anya pointed out, her hazel eyes following every move of the construction worker protectively.  
  
He opened the refrigerator, and Xander then placed the carton of milk back in its place. The young man subsequently closed the door with an absent- mindedly severe thump, and the entire room rattled. The box of cereal remained standing though, barely, on the wooden table.  
  
Xander slowly, almost fearfully returned Anya's gaze. Immediately, a feeling of comfort flooded deep into his soul.  
  
Although, the blonde seemed to feel the opposite. Uncomfortable â€" with his presence, for his presence.  
  
But the former Zeppo realized, once again, how much of a brave, gorgeous girl she was â€" for Anya didn't divert her eyes from his even once.  
  
"It's hard," he admitted. "Buffy is... was, she *was* a very dear friend. Without her, a lotta things changed â€" we still have to find the right way to go on with our lives, Ahn. But it'll take some time till we get there."  
  
Xander approached her, but Anya promptly moved away from his intended embrace. So the dark-haired man just stood there, lost in utter confusion.  
  
"Why do you keep treating me as if I'm some sort of stupid child, who can't understand how much Buffy truly meant to you? All of you? What â€" you think I don't see how you're trying to mentally fake it she's still around, as if that's going to make things any easier? Or do you think I can't see how much Willow's gotten into dark magick, and you're choosing to overlook it completely?"  
  
At Anya's sudden but not unforeseen explosion, Xander recoiled, almost as if in shame.  
  
"I'll tell you something, it won't! Make things easier, that is. If you guys choose to keep ignoring Dawn, or pretend Willow isn't sinking deeper and deeper into a whole lot of trouble, fine by me! But don't try to convince me it's not wrong!"  
  
Xander started to say, "Ahn..."  
  
"Buffy wouldn't like it, ya know? She gave her life for you guys, and you're throwing her gift away," the former demoness paused with a frown, her tone suddenly getting impressively lighter and thoughtful in a split second. "She'd hate that. Buffy was a very temperamental person, after all."  
  
"Anya, honey â€" listen, I know you aren't a child, and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel as if you were one," Xander said, grabbing the forgotten bowl of cereal and gently placing it onto the sink to probably eat it later, suddenly feeling like he wasn't hungry anymore.  
  
"I know how much you were hurt by Buffy's death, and I do understand Xander, I do!" Anya rejoined, obviously ignoring the words said by him a second before. "Look, I know when a person is about to do something very stupid â€" I was a demon for more than a millennium, and some things you just know with time. And you, you're all only one step away from big ka-ka! Even a three-hundred-year old newbie could tell."  
  
Xander scowled skeptically, as his significant other blinked innocently. "What? I did say more than a millennium, didn't I?"  
  
"You're right," Xander uttered quietly, his dark brown eyes holding her hazel ones for several seconds. "But still it'll take some time, Ahn. It will."  
  
"And I'll be here for you," the blonde declared futilely, as for once she didn't need to state things bluntly at all.  
  
As if by unspoken agreement, the couple advanced through the living room in a speedy rush to find each other's arms.  
  
One step, two, three closer to the other.  
  
A kiss. Soft and delicate at first, but gaining a hearty, energetic strength thereafter.  
  
And then, the damned telephone rang again.  
  
And again.  
  
And again.  
  
"Whoever it is, I'm gonna kill 'em tomorrow, I promise," Xander muttered, breaking their embrace. Anya moaned in protest, but her lover was already gone.  
  
A fourth ring of the damned telephone.  
  
"I'm on my way, geez! Don't people know what the word 'patience' means anymore?" the dark-haired construction worker shouted in vain, finally picking up the phone.  
  
"Hello. Listen, whoever you are, you called the wrong place, at the wrong time and to the wrong person. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go have sex with my fiancÃ©e," he barked into the handset, his voice seeming to be both annoyed and mocking.  
  
The woman's voice from the other end of the line, though, it was definitely a mocking one. "Please, like spare me the details! I just had lunch about half an hour ago, and I don't intend to waste the valuable money I spent on that horrible jelly donut by throwing up."  
  
Xander promptly gasped in shock and incredulity, but almost miraculously managed to cover his wonder with his next words. "Always thought you preferred the chocolate ones, Cordy."  
  
A fleeting silence. Xander looked around, shaking his head with an uneasy â€" but at the same time honest â€" grin.  
  
He spotted Anya's widened eyes and his Scooby Doo cereal bowl, given to him as a present by Dawn for the Christmas of 2001. As well as a picture hanging on the wall â€" between one of him and Anya in the Magic Box, and one of he, Willow and Buffy within the now-defunct Sunnydale High School library.  
  
A photograph, rather older than most of the others, taken during the closing months of 1998 at a beach pier. Showing him as a teenager, wearing a horribly unfashionable Hawaiian shirt with an undecipherable collection of colors, as well as a baggy set of jeans.  
  
By his side was a gorgeous brown-haired teenage girl, wearing a ravishing baby-blue miniskirt and a white-colored top; her long locks of brunette hair falling graciously around her beautiful face, and a bright smile covering her generous lips.  
  
They had their arms around each other, and seemed very happy in the 'more- than-friends' sense.  
  
It was a picture that, as a matter of fact, Anya would have never, ever accepted hanging on their apartment wall â€" if Buffy and Willow hadn't been present in it as well.  
  
"Well, I do still prefer the chocolates, dorkhead. Didn't I say horrible jelly donut?" the light female voice retorted in amusement.  
  
The owner of said light voice was many things to Xander's body, heart and soul; a former enemy, an old schoolmate, a might-have-been lover, and a conspirator in things that go bump in the night.  
  
Anya scowled.  
  
Xander grinned.  
  
And, in the not-too-distant City of Angels from a geographic point of view but an endlessly distant one with regards to their friendship though, Cordelia grinned too.  
  
If only in the land of dreams or fleeting thoughts, or possibly a moment of joy, a bond between the Slayerette and the seer still existed. But except for a day when an apocalypse or some other nasty tragedy was about to occur, they hadn't allowed themselves any opportunity to think about each other and their turbulent love-hate relationship.  
  
There was one thing that really defined Xander Harris and Cordelia Chase, though.  
  
And that was, both of them knew that there wasn't any other living person capable of bugging the other any more than what they were able to do.  
  
After all â€" Spike was an undead being, to be sure.  
  
***  
  
TBC 


	2. The Kids Aren't Alright

Title: I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues  
  
Author: Jane McCartney  
  
Disclaimer: Xander's mine, but if you wanna believe he's Joss's, fine! Whatever! I can always have my share of fun with Spike, Gunn, Wesley or Lindsey, you know? And...what? They aren't mine too? Damn!  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Feedback: As previously said, I'm rather fond of it. Yes, watch out, I'm crazy for it! [evil maniacal laugh echoes]  
  
E-mail: janemccartney@bol.com.br  
  
Distribution: Just tell me first and everybody will be happy in the end, okay?  
  
Acknowledgments: To those who sent and send me reviews. Love ya, guys. And also, Theo, Theo and Theo. Without him, all my work would be just a bunch of nonsensical words in crappy English.  
  
Author's note: This is a three-chapter thing. I just came up with the thought an hour ago, and here 'tis. Hope you'll enjoy!  
  
Summary: A telephone call. An old friendship. What recollections will a spicy combination like this result in? A tear, a confession and retrospection. Chaos? Mostly!  
  
***  
  
"Guess ya didn't call to talk about donuts, huh?" Xander mused friskily, spotting Anya's gaze pointed piercingly straight at him.  
  
The young man then knew that he'd better come up with a way to calm his fiancÃ©e down, and do it fast, because that was certainly one of her looks that meant Anya was upset.  
  
So upset in fact, that they wouldn't be having sex that night.  
  
A distressing occurrence that Xander couldn't let happen â€" for both of their sakes, of course.  
  
"Nah, not really," Cordelia responded with a sigh, making the brunette seer's former boyfriend snap out of his ephemeral thoughts regarding sex, or rather the lack of it, with his betrothed.  
  
And Xander didn't miss Cordy's sudden serious voice too, which instantly made his face twist into new features of apprehension and sharp uneasiness.  
  
A pain-wracked pause. Absolute quiet â€" a detestable, stressing and evanescent stillness.  
  
Stillness broken only and exclusively by Anya's heavy and rather troubled pacing along the living room floor, that is. Weighty, frenzied footsteps moving viciously and quickly along the multi-colored surface; a noise that was, suddenly, excruciatingly annoying to Xander's ears at that moment.  
  
A step, and silence. Another step, more silence. And another one. Still the damned silence. A tortuous game that, even though it lasted only a few seconds, seemed like whole centuries to the construction worker.  
  
And then, a look. The Look.  
  
Not the one that meant 'No sex tonight, and that's just for starters'; but one saying that Anya knew he was upset about something.  
  
The blonde woman sent him a questioning and worried glance. Xander didn't respond. She shuddered. The pacing stopped immediately.  
  
"Did something happen?" the dark-haired young man finally asked his ex on the phone, caution and harshness suddenly filling his usual light voice.  
  
"No, no," Cordelia replied pointedly, her voice growing considerably louder on the last 'no'. "I mean hey, the baddies have gotta give us a break sometime, don't ya think?"  
  
"No, they never do," Xander's hauntingly hostile voice retorted, and a sigh of regret was immediately heard by Cordelia a second later. "I'm sorry, Cor. I... I mean, I didn't mean to sound harsh, it's just that..."  
  
"Xander?" she futilely called to him.  
  
"It's just that, you did that big dramatic pause thing and then I thought: that's it, more bad news! Just peachy! You know? Seems like that's all we've been having for ages now and, if ya wanna know my opinion, it sucks big time," the young man continued talking nonsense, until the moment his former girlfriend finally shouted out his name.  
  
"Xander! You're so babbling! God â€" cut it out, Paranoia Boy! Not everything is about Evil getting a day planner, geez... get a life, or something!"  
  
Another hateful moment of silence. Though, this one didn't exactly allow the former Zeppo any time to think at all.  
  
"I, uh, I'm sorry," was Xander's awkward response. "But it's always so lovely to entertain you, Queen C," he finished up with light sarcasm.  
  
Cordy chuckled. "And you better not forget it, pal."  
  
"No problema," the dark-haired boy replied absent-mindedly. Obviously, something was still bothering him, and the seer didn't let this pass unnoticed.  
  
Though she could guess what it was all about, anyway.  
  
Xander caught a quick flash at the window.  
  
A drop of rain. The first one. And, with a sudden bolt of lightning, a storm started to wash away the impurities of both Sunnydale and L.A., with its little drops of equally clean and dirty water.  
  
Curiously though, neither Xander nor Cordelia seemed to really notice or care about the abrupt change in the weather.  
  
Anya stood up and closed the windows. In the City Of Angels, Wesley did the same. He glanced supportively at the brunette seer, who just absent- mindedly sent back a reassuring glance.  
  
"So, how long am I gonna have to pay for this like very expensive phone call, until one of us says her name?" Cordelia asked cautiously yet smoothly.  
  
Xander chuckled. Although his chortle was a bitter one; that was an easily discernible and certain fact for the brunette girl. "Can't help but to say Cordy, that you surely haven't lost your touch. Goin' straight for the open wound here, Tact Girl?"  
  
In Los Angeles, Cordelia stared at an old photo taken on a beach pier; one of the few she'd kept, from her years as a member of Sunnydale's Scooby Gang. She smiled a sad smile and said, "Xander, c'mon... we both know we'll have to stake the topic sometime."  
  
"That's why you called, right?" he replied stubbornly, still refusing to speak the name.  
  
She sighed. "Yes and no. I'm worried, Xander, worried about you. Dawn says you guys don't even talk about her anymore. She's hurt, you know? Poor kid wanted to come to L.A."  
  
Xander's eyes widened. "She what?" he yelled incredulously.  
  
"You heard me," Cordelia retorted piercingly. "Dawnie says you don't care about her, and that you blame her for what happened. I mean, I don't know why she'd think that, but she does."  
  
Xander gulped, even though Cordelia was oblivious to it.  
  
"She's a teenager, you know," the brunette woman added pointedly. "And every teenager's potential dynamite. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? She's gonna end up doing something very stupid, if you guys keep choosing to pretend nothing happened."  
  
"It's not that simple..." Xander replied lamely.  
  
Anya, who was sitting on the couch with her head rested in her hands and absent-mindedly playing with the blond locks of her hair, just looked up at him.  
  
"The hell it isn't! She died, Xander, and I think you don't wanna deal with it. What, weren't you the one who condemned her when she ran away to L.A. after," the seer paused, and soften her voice with a sigh. "After she had to send Angel to Hell? Now you're like doing the exact same thing! Running away!"  
  
The construction worker sighed too. "It's really not that simple, Cordelia," his voice seemed slightly angry this time. "You weren't there, and you don't know how it was! The deal is, that Doc guy? I'm guessing Willow told you about him..."  
  
The brunette nodded. "Yeah, she told us some things," she confirmed quietly.  
  
"Well, I should've made sure that I had really killed him, when I had that sword! I should have made sure of it â€" at the time! But I didn't, and she died. See, bottom line is it was my fault, and I failed her! I could've moved faster, I should've tried to get up that tower in time. And did I? I think we both know what the answer to that question is," he finished bitterly.  
  
"Holy crap, Xander, I can't believe you're so self-centered that you're actually trying to take the blame for all this!" Cordelia finally said, with a tired sigh. "Listen, just snap out of it! Dawn really needs you right now, and you're like, totally overlooking her, as if everything was just peachy freaking perfect!"  
  
"Cordy..."  
  
"Lemme finish! I just gotta say this won't bring her back, OK? Hellooo, Hellmouth? Grew up there too, remember? It's just a matter of time till Dawnie gets into deep trouble, and then you'll finally have something to feel really guilty about!"  
  
The soft and muffled background noise of water rushing its way down to the street pavement seemed to intensify a thousand-fold, for a whole five silent, dragging seconds.  
  
Five seconds that seemed like an entire lifetime, to the former odd couple of Sunnydale High.  
  
The truth was, Xander and Cordelia had changed since high school. And a lot, at that.  
  
And they were finally starting to truly realize this now. The relatively innocent, pure past had finally caught up with them with its fleeting, distant memory; and the two young people realized, during those precise timeless moments, how much they were almost like strangers to each other now.  
  
But still, they felt linked. Xander and Cordelia would always know that they had started down that painful and exciting road together, to lose that sweet, infinitely precious innocence.  
  
They had discovered and suffered and started to create the person they'd later become together, with all their mistakes, kisses, tears and foolish bitching at one another.  
  
Xander Harris and Cordelia Chase may have grown up and grown apart, but they'd always have that unique link â€" and they both knew it, as if in unspoken agreement.  
  
A sigh and a shudder. "Cordy?"  
  
"I'm here," the seer reassured him softly.  
  
"What if I'm not strong enough? I mean, and if I screw up again?" the dark- haired boy asked in a low and almost fearful voice.  
  
Cordelia might not have had the most comforting answer to give, or even a lie, but Xander knew she'd offer the truth to him. "I can't tell you everything's gonna be rosy afterwards. I guess you'll just have to try your best."  
  
"Guess I'm gonna have to, then," he quietly responded.  
  
"But I know you'll succeed, Xander. 'Cause that's who you are, ya know? The White Knight, in shining armor for the Summers girls," Cordelia added promptly, an absent-mindedly melancholy smile brightening her lips.  
  
"Not exactly fair here, Cor," Xander replied, as if he was right at the brunette girl's side to see that kind of smile on her face that spoke volumes to him. "I cared about you too â€" a heckuva lot â€" it's just that-"  
  
"She was special, I know," Cordelia stated simply. "That's okay Xander, I got over it a long time ago. Really. Even shallow little Queen C had to notice eventually, huh?"  
  
Somehow, her bitter words weren't spoken in a bitter manner at all. Pretty much the opposite, actually; Cordelia spoke as if she was in a nostalgic, morose contemplation of a distant, but never really forgotten past.  
  
And at that moment, if on a dark road a big truck had run right over him at a hundred miles per hour, Xander knew for sure it'd be lot less painful than the effect Cordelia's gloomy words were having on him.  
  
"Are you thinking what I think you're thinking? 'Cause if you are, it's not true," the construction worker rejoined hurriedly.  
  
"It is true," the seer retorted stubbornly. "And it's okay."  
  
Xander gasped in half-shock. Cordelia grinned. She could clearly imagine the scene taking place in her home town right now.  
  
"The Summers women, Willow... they were totally your girls, pal. I mean, once maybe I thought I could kick some ass and open up a space for me too, but I was just too much of a... well, a headstrong, uh," Cordelia snorted and finished gingerly, "well, bitch."  
  
Xander then did something Cordelia wasn't expecting at all. He started to chuckle, and then he started laughing his ass off.  
  
Dear God, the man still had that unique capacity of getting on her nerves. Under her skin. Irritating the crap out of her.  
  
That was simply a sure, settled fact of life for Cordelia Chase.  
  
***  
  
TBC - Please, review! 


End file.
